Taking care of the dust under the carpet?

[David]

I know what I must do first.... To change myself.. to stop my negativity..
but in order to do that I feel that I have to take care of this first..
things of the past haunting me is not really helping me on my positive path...
and I have some reasons that make me believe in this...

I tried to meditate last night.. I listenend to solfeggio frequencies which usually helps me to relax..... I.. it didnt feel good.. I had this bad feeling in my solar plexus chakra right after I stopped doing it..
Many times in my mind I saw negative things... scary things... like things taken from a horror movie..
I felt fear.... and during all the time under my trying it felt.. over-all simply bad..
So I decided to stop....
my conclusion was...

Maybe if this negative me that I've been that is still inside me, is making me connect to the wrong beings or energies?
If so.. then that's not good at all...

and If so I need to take care of my negativity real soon..


one other thing too..
every time I've tried to meditate I've felt this pain in my third eye...
maybe that pain is someone telling me I aint ready for this yet?

maybe I feel this pain just because I am in fear literally when I am as confused as I am.. I fear alot of things.. I fear my past.. I fear that my future will come before I can handle it and take care of my past...
Maybe my parents dissapear from this earthly form before I get to talk things out with them... so many thigns that I fear and feel anger over that is disturbing my path...

so many questions...