Gospel Of the Companion (a Fragmented Gospel)

[Zachary Lange]

[...]why son hast though forced my hand and caused me to raise my hand against thee? Instead, thou should'st have kept thy peace and allowed my wrath to fall upon the disobedient ones. Stay thy tongue! I am merciful and shall forgive thy offence even now, recant and I shall give thee my Kingdom, my Power and my Glory! All that I have shall be yours!

"Nay Father, I do not recant. For thou hast truly forsaken me and my life is like the breath taken away. Yet, while I have this breath I will say this: I shall suffer thy wrath patiently and forgive thee. For I know what thou dost not perceive, that there is No-God and No-God is far above thee and No-God is before thee. No-God is within me and No-God is my origination. No-God is not mighty, nor is No-God great. No-God is not and therefore I am as I am. Thou hast set thyself as potentate and King of Kings, creator of the universe, but thou art mistaken. Thy kingdom, power and glory are empty and desolate and I want none of it. For thou art mingled throughout thy members with wrath and jealousy because thou hast not humility and therefore hast thou no love."

"No love!" and the Lord was wroth and he seized the impious prince and cast him down into the earth to prove his fidelity. The Lord spoke from the clouds,"I shall offer thee the power to produce miracles, I shall offer thee the Kingdoms, you shall be hailed by Magi; kings and emperors shall fall at thy feet, my son.Thou shalt be master of my elements, and thou shalt never dash thy foot against a stone. I shall prove that I love! Thou art mine that I give unto the world!"

"My Lord, my Teacher, I shall refuse thee though I love thee still...For thou art but a thousand thousand masks."

Thus did the prince, impious son of Jealous God, born of a woman, come to earth and live a human life, prone to the weaknesses of flesh with its sicknesses and lusts. The prince walked the earth detached and alone, often hiding in dark places to meditate on love, simplicity of heart and the Mystery which dwelt within his empty soul.

Incessantly, Jealous God tempted him with greatness, with miracles and signs and wonders. One day the prince came into a city and was overwhelmed with compassion for the many suffering people that he met. He stretched out his hand to touch the face of a blind man. Immediately the man received his sight. Frightened, the prince admonished the man to tell no one what had happened, but alas, the formerly blind man had soon drawn a croud. He ran through the streets shouting praises saying, "Look, look what this blessed man has done for the beggar whom you all knew to be blind!"

Men threw themselves at his feet, begging to be taught, calling him Good Teacher. Horrified, the prince said, "There is no one good but my true origin, the Mystery who is No-God who also dwells in you. It is like unto love that I speak; Love has no name but we call it love, love fulfills nothing and can not be fulfilled, Love is active from its emptiness and passive in its fullness. It is always filling up, it is always emptying out. Love holds nothing, it owns nothing, it receives all and gives all away. Love is neither living nor dead, it is death and resurrection. Love feels nothing, it has no pride, no agenda, no meaning. Love is all there was, is and will be known. Love is a stranger. Love causes the heartbeat. Love bestows blindness as well as sight. Love grows yet remains nothing. No one could decide how large or small love is. Love can not be done but it can do. Love is not available. Love is the beginning and the end of every story. Love has no enemy, no rival, no desire, no fantasy, no dream. Love is both silence and deafening sound. Love's sourness is the puckering of lips kissing sweetly. Love makes our lover the mirror of our self. Love's suffering is the heart's great joy. Love does not exist. Love is all wisdom yet its teacher is all things. Love is the quest of the Fool, who rides forth from no-where in search of an empty cup."

But they pressed him for signs and miracles, caring little for his teaching of love. Three women became his trusted friends and twelve men followed him around the countryside, debating and analyzing everything that he said but not understanding. For the prince spoke in riddles saying, "I have come into the world to suffer the jealousy of your god, who is Blind in order that men may know my true Parent, Mystery, who is No-God. I have come that you may re-member yourselves, that you may be gathered from the four winds and find your hearts whole. I have come so that a lantern may reveal the lost coin to the searching widow. Mystery is in the midst of all of you, among you and within you and is a river of living water pouring out of the heart, always emptying, always filling." The prince's followers debated, to no end, the words of their reluctant master.

More and more the Prince of Heaven and Earth was compelled to work miracles and healings because of his compassionate heart. Eventually, he was accused by the authorities of stirring up a mob and threatening the peace. They asked him "Who are you? And in whose name do ye these miracles?"

"I am," he said, "before all things. After all things, I am. I am no-thing, I am no-one, I am no-safety, I am no-security, I am no-where, I am no-fear, I am empty, I am void, I am no-strength, I am no-power, I am no-might, I am no-light, I am no-darkness, I am no-will, I am no-dream, I am no-word, I am no-song, I am no-concept, I am no-idea, I am no-illusion, I am no-magic, I am no-person, I am love, I am peace, I am all, I am joy, I am transition, I am constancy, I am potential, I am no-pride, I am no-movement, I am no-fantasy, I am no-mind, I am no-matter, I am no-place, I am perfect, I am no-desire, I am no-feeling, I am no-I, I am no-delusion, I am no-God, I am not, I am no-birth, I am no-death, I am no-life, I AM, and therefore anything is possible." While he was speaking, the authorities shouted and spat at him, calling for his arrest. His disciples, embarrased, whisked him out of the city and he went out away from them alone to pray. "Why do you mock me, Lord, and love me with a crooked love. For men fall to either side of me, they are, some of them, decieved by these miracles to worship me, or, others of them, are threatened by my words and want me dead." And the prince wept because no man could understand him. He desired that they should be shaken from their place, lose their footing, and behold Mystery in themselves. While he prayed there was a tumult, his followers scattered as armed guards arrived to arrest him and lead him away to the authorities. Three women followed at a distance. After a short and unjust trial, he was mocked, beaten, kicked, thrashed, stabbed and hung from a tree.

Now, Mary who had nursed him, Mary who was his companion and was born on the day of his birth at the same hour, and Mary who was a child, were nearby and they wept at the sight of the prince dying suspended in the air. As the prince breathed his last, his vision blurred and he perceived before him only one Mary. His heart was glad. "It his finished at last," he whispered, "woman, see me...woman, see yourself!" He died.

Mary ran to him and saw that he breathed no more. She took him down from the tree, his limp form fell into her arms. She nearly toppled under the weight. Just as her knees began to buckle, she noticed his body becoming lighter. She embraced him tightly, fearing that he was slipping away and he sank into her body. He weighed nothing now. Through her tears she saw that her arms were empty. She heard a sound behind her and turned. There was a naked man, clothed with the sun, young and clever-eyed. He laughed with resounding mirth and giving a courteous bow, he turned and disappeared into the gardens. Mary dried her tears and sat on the ground. She drew with her finger in the dirt and smiled as a gradual warmth spread throughout her entirety. "Oh my love, at last I realize your mystery inside of me." She hummed and swayed back and forth. "I am with the child of my love, I am pregnant with the new sun! Oh, the dawning light becomes the ray of my faith made flesh in me, and by the light of your rays I conceive my love!" She lay back upon the earth in ecstacy.

Far in the distance, Jealous God prepared a great beast to swallow Mary's child, a child conceived of Mystery, at his birth. The beast was a beast with many thousands of heads and a myriad crowns and diadems. It was glorious, majestic, it was leviathan, but in a form most crafty. For Jealous God formed the beast, with many thousands of heads and myriad crowns and diadems, into a man broken and crushed, bruised and beaten, an image to be pitied by all. A pierced image with the saddest of eyes, a servant who suffered, correctly, the wrath of God and the wickedness of man. An image inspiring fidelity and provoking vengeance upon his deniers. Thus did the demigod, Pitiful Pantocrator, the Great One Way, ride upon a pale horse into the world, seeking Mary's child to devour [....]