Going through some rough times,

[Aaron]

I have to start off saying that i know we need to be positive about life, and i try so hard but it's been so difficult being positive, when you want to make the right changes in your life and that i want so bad to know what i desire the most, and what i'm good at. I have my blog that i enjoy working on and sharing information but i'm still struggling with my awakening process. for starters My diet:, i eat some fruit but i've been eating alot of pasta for the protein, and bread and rice and Potatos, now i find out i can't even eat that. I don't mind eating vegatebles but you can't keep them fresh long enough to eat them. If i knew a way how to cook and to preserve them, i would definitely go with vegatebles. I would love to quit my job but it's the only thing putting food on the table and keeping my heat on, and keeping my internet running. Now that i'm laid offl i'm really in a rut, I really want to make changes but i have blockages everywhere in my life. I'm also losing my memory so it's getting harder to remember things, I guess that it because i'm in the process of awakening. I love to go out in nature, but i hate going out in the cold and second i'm living in the city so there's not much nature around except i do have a yard i can go to with a few trees. I used to go there and sit and meditate, but now it's too cold to meditate outside, so i have to do it inside. So i'm so lost right now, i don't even know what my desire is except i love working on my blog, and playing with my cats. I still watch a little bit of tv but if you were a diehard football fan, that is really hard to let go, when your whole life was based off a football team. So i don't really know what i need to do now. I'm very lost.
Infact today I've been going through a huge emotional rollar coaster, and i've just been so depressed and frustrated with my self and my life mainly why i can't figure out what i want for myself, i know one thing i really want to ascend i just feel that i won't because i won't be able to let go completely, i won't know how to live anymore if i completely let go of everything.

My biggest fear right now is not Ascending and not full filling my outer purpose, i've been working on my inner purpose. I still don't know what i want for myself. Except to grow spiritually and be prepared to Ascend.
So on top of all of this, what's going to happen with my 2 cats which i dearly love? It's not like i don't want to help or service others, I have that strong urge to help others, but just don't know how. except sharing information over the internet through my blog. I've been trying to volunteer even though i'm out of work, i can't even get hired for free, that tells you how bad my luck has been this year. Luckily i'm just scraping by each week just to put food on the table. I've trying to learn Law of Attraction but i'm still not making the connections with my mind yet. I guess i'm not intuitive yet. Meditation has not been working well with me at all, i have such a hard time really relaxing my body let alone quieting the mind. I've been at this for 5 months now, no improvements that is why i'm so frustrated, i thought by now i would be having experiences like Brad. I guess i'm a very slow learner at everything, Today i just really lost it and i'm not sure if i have hope for my life anymore, i really thought i would've made some positive changes by now In November.

I know that i must do this all myself, but it is getting harder each and every day.

There is one thing i do want more than anything and that is to grow spiritually, be enlightened, become psychic, be intuitive, I would love my creativity back and Ascend.

Now i do love you all, and i'm grateful for your comments and messages but i'm not sure if i can turn my life around. or have the strength to do so, or the know how that is where i'm stuck at.

[sunbeam]

Hi Aaron,

I've sent you email messages before; thanking you for the hard work you put into your blog site. I sure hope you don't stop working on that. A lot of people would miss visiting every day.

Do you have any family members close by? I know it's sometimes really hard if you don't have a family support team. If they are not spiritual or ET believers, then I know how hard it is.

Maybe if you sort of stopped trying to measure your progress against anyone else, that would help. I've been meditating for over a year and haven't had any "connections" to ETs or other dimensions but I've never let it deter me. Sure, everyone would love a good old fashioned "out of body experience," but we'll all get there eventually.

As far as leaving your cats, from I understand from many, many others you will just leave this dimension but you'll still be here on earth. I bet your cats will go where ever you do. Not to worry.

I read The Secret about a year ago and really practiced with that but I really wanted to quit my job and open a restaurant but it didn't happen.

Can you collect unemployment until you find a job? Hopefully, that will help. I can't believe the places where you tried to volunteer passed up an opportunity to have you help out. I volunteer with Hopsice and they are always looking for new people. Maybe you could try that.

Don't be discouraged, Aaron. Everyone of us who are on this journey have felt down and depressed and also disppointed at times. The best is yet to come. We have so many new things to look forward to. I think you are in the , right? and we have a wonderful new president taking office in January. You have to stick around to see what he has in store for us. And don't forget about the fall of the Illumanti - that will be awesome - you can't miss that!

Eventually, the Federation of Light will show up - they have to!!! You KNOW you don't want to miss that, do you???

You see, there is hope where there is light, love and laughter..

WE LOVE YOU, AARON

Sunbeam

[Ullan]

Dear Aaron.

I can feel your heartfelt request for guidance and for the second time in three days, I'm going to attempt to provide advice. As it was last time so it must be again: I will be asking someone who has been with me for a while to provide insights. So here goes:

(*Following provided by channeled energy/personality. Somehow it feels different from last time, not sure who's taking their turn at the helm*)

Greetings Aaron. I read your request and of your difficulties with some interest. To me, it sounds like the answer to your questions might be simpler than you think it is. Before we start, lets do this:

Breathe in.
Hold.
Relax...
Relax...

Are you relaxed yet?
No you're not.
Relax...

Yes, you can breathe out now.

Relaxed? No, but you're in the right frame of mind now. Yes you are.

You mention having problems letting go. Letting go of what? Of food on the table? Of a roof over your head? If you believe you need to let go of those things then you may be letting go of too much. How can you possibly hope to help others if you are in a position where you need help yourself? Love yourself, nourish yourself and did I mention to love yourself?

So you eat pasta and potatoes. No meat? Why not? If you are a vegetarian or want to try that for a while, by all means. I won't judge you on that. But who told you not to eat potatoes? This channel would go absolutely insane without his ... okay, he's fighting this, he doesn't want me to mention brands. Fine. I won't. Suffice to say he's not too particular about his diet, and somehow he manages to stay slim and in shape. Work off what you eat, he says now, makes me wonder who's in control of these fingers. Stop that. Alright. Yes, I'll behave, spoilsport.

What would you have me say? You are having difficulty staying positive, to use the law of attraction to your advantage, and you mention that every week you manage to get food on the table, and support yourself and two cats. That to me is the law of attraction at work. It may not be much, it may feel like it isn't enough by a long shot, but it is there for you. It's yours. Enjoy it. If you /want/ more by all means, stop /wanting/. This is a fundamental flaw in human reasoning.

Everything you want you have a way of getting, and the feeling of /want/ is simply your energy spurring you to employ those means to /go and get it/. No, it is not always obvious or easy, this wouldn't be a challenge if it was, but the opportunity is always there.

You lived for one team. Commendable, dedication, but now you feel hollow. That's because you believed and followed something fleeting. It was a distraction, nothing more. Yes, I'm blunt, but that's the way I am. You say you don't know what it is you want, but in truth you do. You simply think that you're not worth it, that it can't be yours. Well, /it can be/. Your soul, your energy, is in no way lesser to that of any other. Reach for it, grab it, hang onto it and don't let it go. If it slips loose, grab for it again, don't let go. if it slips loose again, wipe off your hands, grab for it again and for the... okay, I won't say it, my channel is getting slightly upset. But you get the picture.

Ascension. Back on track then. You used to meditate underneath the trees, in your garden, close to nature. Again very commendable. But isn't that mighty cold in winter? It doesn't matter where you meditate, how you sit, how you meditate or if you feel you need to do so dressed entirely in purple with a duck on your head. You want to meditate. This is what matters. Yes, it is important to feel nature, to understand it is there and is in fact in dire need of help and saving, but that doesn't mean you need to keep your back pressed to a tree. Sit comfortably, relax... remember relaxing from up there, top of the page? Good.... so sit comfortably and /relax/, and don't think. Hah. That's a hard one isn't it? That brain is always interfering, demanding your attention all the time. Well tough luck for your brain, you're taking some alone time. Some time to yourself without your thoughts. They can pester you later. Sit, relax, don't think. There, keep that up, you're meditating.

Ascension will not come to those who spend every waking moment of their lives hunting for it, only to realize they'd told it they'd be back later that day when they walked out of the house to hunt for it. It's a silly thing that way, but are a lot of things. Me, as example, I'm known to be quite silly. And blunt. But you read this, and you read it to the end, and that's all that matters. It didn't look pretty, but we got here eventually, and no matter what form of sculpted prose I'd hung around it, we'd always have gotten here in the end. Yes Ullan, it's your turn again, silly boy.

(*I think I'm back now. That was... odd*)

Having just read back this message, I feel I should apologize. This was most clearly /not/ the energy I normally get advice from, but it's been a very hectic day and obviously someone or something far more playful got through. This is the first time I ever had the sensation of fighting for control, and I'll need to do some soul searching to find out if this is going to be a common thing or not.

Again, Aaron, I'm sorry about this. I was going to delete the entire message but on reflection, I decided to let it stay as is.

[Aaron]

Yes i do have family members but i lost my sister because she believes i'm in some sort of cult, My mother doesn't believe that but she's skeptical of what i've been saying, She has been more understanding as of lately. I wasn't really measuring my self against brad, i was measuring from the time i first started, I even increased the time to 1 hour a day from 30 min. I'm feeling a little better now, your messages are all uplifting for me. I've always in the past put myself down alot, and that is what i've been fighting is myself. Trying to be really positive and trying to love myself, but it always seems trying is not good enough. I suppose i can say i got this inner war going on, on one side i love myself dearly and then on the other side i keep telling myself you will never make it, your not good enough.

So the imbalance of emotions today was over whelming, but i can tell you my Consciousness shifted dramatically today, I feel so light and i believe my mind went through an expansion, even while i type this i feel different and awkward than i did yesterday. I feel so much energy inside my hands and in and around my head, tremendous heat. I found a way to relax which now i can feel my own heart beat, so what i did was connect my breathing to my heart beat, and tried to feel that through my whole body, if you get the right rythem down you should feel energy all through out your body increasing. As well as sensitivity. So i'm going to use this technique to help me relax more better.

Again thankyou for your reply and yes i'll continue posting on my blog, as long as i still have the internet.

sunbeam said:

Hi Aaron,

I've sent you email messages before; thanking you for the hard work you put into your blog site. I sure hope you don't stop working on that. A lot of people would miss visiting every day.

Do you have any family members close by? I know it's sometimes really hard if you don't have a family support team. If they are not spiritual or ET believers, then I know how hard it is.

Maybe if you sort of stopped trying to measure your progress against anyone else, that would help. I've been meditating for over a year and haven't had any "connections" to ETs or other dimensions but I've never let it deter me. Sure, everyone would love a good old fashioned "out of body experience," but we'll all get there eventually.

As far as leaving your cats, from I understand from many, many others you will just leave this dimension but you'll still be here on earth. I bet your cats will go where ever you do. Not to worry.

I read The Secret about a year ago and really practiced with that but I really wanted to quit my job and open a restaurant but it didn't happen.

Can you collect unemployment until you find a job? Hopefully, that will help. I can't believe the places where you tried to volunteer passed up an opportunity to have you help out. I volunteer with Hopsice and they are always looking for new people. Maybe you could try that.

Don't be discouraged, Aaron. Everyone of us who are on this journey have felt down and depressed and also disppointed at times. The best is yet to come. We have so many new things to look forward to. I think you are in the , right? and we have a wonderful new president taking office in January. You have to stick around to see what he has in store for us. And don't forget about the fall of the Illumanti - that will be awesome - you can't miss that!

Eventually, the Federation of Light will show up - they have to!!! You KNOW you don't want to miss that, do you???

You see, there is hope where there is light, love and laughter..

WE LOVE YOU, AARON

Sunbeam

[Ted]

For some reason I can relate to you.
I rememeber I felt pretty much like that at a time in my life where I didnt know what I want but knew what I didnt want.. I tought it was a good start a the time but realized afterwards I was focusing on what I didnt want, which was a mistake. It is important to focus on things you want..

I've been working with chakras a bit, I dont have much self-confidance with this ability but it definitly changed my life at a time where I would consider it to be a bunch of failures.. Today things are differents and it is since I had my chakra and aura cleaned up about 10 years ago.. they left me with the ability to heal, to make simple, channel energy to chakras.. so its been very helpfull eversince at least for myself. In my case it really changed the whole perspective. I would suggest you find someone you can trust who can clean/balance your chakras and/or auras. It will have almost instant effects with how you feel (can feel like superman), and should change the whole perspective. their is also something called "remote healing" but best work with people you know well..

I've been to quite on an emotional rollercoster too today. and last week too. I think its because I listened to the new solfegio-frequency movies yesterday and this morning.. (and last week too was a diffent one) I definetly beleive they affect the chakras in a positive way. but emotional issues ar OK, its part of the process of chakra healing..

I've been with financial issues for a while too, and my job (consultant) ended sooner than expected in sept. Ive been loving my job (Im a programer) for 10 years but since a years or two everything seems to go wrong at work.. everything is getting more and more complicated. Or is me that doesnt fit anymore? The truth is I dont fit anymore.. I like things done in a simple way. I feel like I have no choice for now and continue with this career to be able to eat. I recently thought maybe Id like to become a fengshui consultant but we all know its not that simple..

You fear not to acsend? me too sometimes. ascending is a smooth process for me, cause Im a slow learner too, I need to get to the core of the matter to understand, I cannot just go with the superficial explanations. I beleive your on the acsencion path, otherwise you wouldnt be here.. it means something to you and youre going the right direction.. I think learning the lesson from the world we live in today (war, money, power, control, violence) is the first step to ascension. those who want money, violence and want to manipulate are basically those who wont ascend.. meaning they will endup in another 3d world when earth ascend because it is the earth that is ascending, and we are ascending with her..

Hope this help

By the time I wrote this, i saw Ullan's message from a channeled energy, well wow that sounded like plain truth but distubing a little.. Some part I got is you have to learn to love yourself and its true, and it has something to do with the heart chakra.. (my problem was there too)..
The other thing is, when you want to tell someone about your understanding of ascension and such, it can end up to be a very frustrating experience.. I suggest you test people with subject like "reincarnation" or some buzzwords everybody knows, if you can have a conversation then at this point you can try to go a step further..
From my own experience..

Ted

[Dana]

I'm glad to see you're vibration is rising again Aaron... I saw your message yesterday and for some reason became quite distraught about it and when I tried to leave a message it seemed as though there was nothing I could find to say that would give to the practicality of what you were seeking. So I sat here and cried and sent you all the loving & healing thoughts I could muster. At any rate, I still don't have any practical suggestions it seems lol... but I absolutely know where you're coming from. Self love to me was the very beginning of where I needed to start from, and I work at it daily still. I have all wonderful notions of what it should be like to be on a spiritual journey, but the emptiness always remained until i focused on self love. If you desire purpose Aaron, BE your own purpose and let the first one to recieve your love be you. My experience with that has allowed everythinng else that weighs on me to just fall naturally into place or just fall away altogether.

There are some definite steps to follow in our journey I guess... Step 1... always I AM... love joy divine pure energy... everything will follow.

Be well :)
Much love,
Dana

[Jen]

Here is a great website that will help you. I also am going through the Pain of Ascension. You have been at it for 5 months. have been at it for 3 years - but the collective energy was very low then. It is gaining strength now and I am feeling much better as more and more souls are beginning the process. Just hang in there. Once you experience the bliss - even if just for a few minutes - you will know what it is all about. There is a great ebook on this site called the Ascension Primer. It is the best thing I have read so far on the subject. Very easy to understand, and the author absolutely nails it.

http://www.whatsuponplanetearth.com/ACdisconnect.htm

[Aaron]

Thank you all for your encouragement and uplifting words, Today i feel so much better i believe i went through another huge Consciousness shift, What i feel now is a whole lot lighter, my consciousness has expanded dramatically. Also I'm starting to feel like i'm not even human, I'm sensing alot of energies around, I got a little sick out of the blue, but i'm feeling fine now. I can tell you my love for my family my one friend and my friends here on Saviors of Earth has really increased so much, as to beyond words and feelings. I know i'm going to focus on my inner purpose alot more. Although i know that what ever happens i know i'll be fine. Like right now i don't care about my situation that i'm in, i'm just going to work on being present. Now only and i starting to watching my breath i'm watching my heart beat and my mind.

So it's getting easier now, but the more i get stuck on time past present and future that's when i get frustrated. I have to realize that time is the illusion and only movement and the present moment exist. When i get back in the present moment i feel alot of love and joy, but my ego is stil in control sometimes. Anyhow i want to thank all of you and Brad for opening this Community Network. I have one of my own now, but i have yet to find members to sign up yet.

Lots of love and joy,
Your friend and Savior of Earth
Aaron

[Aaron]

Also when i was outside i looked up to the clouds and it was just so beautiful when you see the golden rays from the sun come through, it gave me such peace and it was so calm and peaceful when i looked up. I wished i had my camera at the time i would've posted it up. Oh well i'll get pictures from the summer time up on here sometime, that i took.