~Unity & TRUTH WITH SELF A UTMOST PRIORITY~ NOW MORE THAN~ EVER~

[Silas Bottman]

 Hello, as I acted the part out to which I had been told was how I should act by others for 20+ years, through my day today in a fog like state ~ I was feeling as if I am becoming emotionally distant from others around me  of which are on different points of growth or stages of change, or enlightenment.  I KEPT REMINDING MYSELF TO WAKE UP~ PUT ON A SMILE~STOP DRIFTING OFF IN MY OWN IMAGINATION OF ENDLESS IDEAS & FUN which no-one rules me there is no right or wrong... THE PLACE THAT I LOVE TO BE THE MOST. I had to remind myself to continue &  PLAY THE GAME! FOR~HONESTLY~ I do not know what else to do as~I am a very strange out of place man~whom STILL~ can present himself as normal, weird~or anything in between, as I have always had that ability, for it was natural for me~to be a few steps ahead and  feel what someone was looking for and be  that & sell it~BACK~ When life was all about selling  something one way or another. I never understood why others couldn't... and always had people angry, or jealous saying I had cheated, or was so damn lucky in life... when that wasn't the case. I HAVE ALWAYS GIVEN MY 100% to anything I have done and never excepted failure. OR ANYONE TELLING ME I COULDN'T DO SOMETHING~ THOUGH NEVER DID THE WHOLE MONEY SYSTEM & FAKE-NESS OF OUR CULTURE SEEM AS IT WAS FOR ME~IT WAS NEVER REALITY FOR ME NOR DID IT EVER BRING ME AN OUNCE OF HONEST GAIN, or joy. AS I AM ONE that prefers to not present myself as anything other than me. AS I HAVE FOUND which I am sure so many are finding that the things of material nature, & monetary gain or $gluttony$ no longer seem to have any valid benefit to our life's fulfillment anymore. BUT~ I STILL HAVE TO RUN A BUSINESS~ I still have to~keep everyone happy, as thats just how I am, & I have so many dependent upon me that still believe this system is all we will ever have, and this life is only how lucky we are. I FIGURED TODAY THAT NO-ONE wants to be told something~(AND GOOD)~ BUT~As a professional I would have people pay for lessons and just want to argue with every VALID tip they were paying for I would offer for a price~ & THEY would be so thrilled still at the end. I HAVE FOUND THE BEST WAY TO GET A IMPORTANT POINT, and or piece of VALID KNOWLEDGE learned via mistakes and life experience~HENCE AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE to another is to suggest it in a way as if they thought of it first. Or plant  a valuable piece of knowledge in the form of a seed in the correct way for it to take root in the unique "brain soil" of the unique  climate to the UNIQUELY PERFECT individuals "brain soil" you are planting it in. With the goal being not that it just take root but never stop growing so perfectly  for them to which it reach full balanced bloom  as soon as it can in a way of bringing them bliss. NOT~ ABOUT IF YOU EVEN GET REMEMBERED OR THANKED FOR BEING THE PLANTER being the motive for doing a good deed SHOULD NOT EVEN deem being a priority. AS THERE IS NO RECOGNITION OR WORTH AS NICE~ AS SELF WORTH & RECOGNITION! NOW~ In order to even be understanding any of this you must of first already learned that... being honest with yourself is the FIRST STEP IN ANY KINDA GROWTH. As a sensitive...I still feel that so many are SO CAUGHT UP IN THIS "SOAP OPERA" we call life. And lie to themselves constantly, & make excuses for their actions they know to be WRONG at a deeper level. BY LYING TO YOURSELF, or blaming another... you will not get happier  as before you can try and become happier with yourself... you have to learn to love, respect & be happy with yourself  NOW ~ at every moment of every day. AND YOU WILL GET TO REALLY KNOW YOURSELF at a higher level just by doing this simple thing ... BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF... ERASING THE LINES YOU HAVE DRAWN FOR WHICH YOU PREVIOUSLY BELIEVED WHERE LINES YOU were not capable of crossing &~TAKE YOUR LIFE BACK~ OWN IT~ RESPECT IT~  EMBRACE & ENJOY IT. And MAKE MISTAKES~ BUT~ Learn from them, and acknowledge that you made them.(For one whom has not made alot of mistakes...surely couldn't of obtained much valid wisdom) ~SO WHY NOT PROUDLY ADMIT, and OWN each proudly? And try your hardest to not make that  SAME one again, while being honest with yourself what your  PERSONAL BEST or hardest really is. .. MIGHT START TO REALLY SURPRISE & ENLIGHTEN YOU as I swear~You are all capable of ANYTHING! ITS NOT JUST A "Saying" of inspiration... BUT A FACT! That has been robbed from you. A FACT YOU MUST REGAIN as being your truth and  BE embraced. And act on it in every aspect of your life everyday. I AM SO READY FOR A DAY THAT EVERYONE LOVES EACH AS MUCH AS I DO NOW~ And TRULY sees everyone, & understands how sick, and how much pain we are in as a UNITED WHOLE~society. AS ~IN REALITY~WE ARE A WHOLE~ Not separates... but... I CANNOT BE HAPPY TIL EVERYONE IS~ AND ITS AMAZING THAT IT COULD HAPPEN SO FAST! I know it will because I am determined to make it happen... even if no-one else believes they can. I WILL SHOW THEM! FOR~ I KNOW I CAN DO ANYTHING!~ & ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU TO KNOW THAT BE TRUE TO YOU AS WELL> WHICH I KNOW SO MANY DO~NOW~WHICJ IS SO EXCITING!Thank You and Truly LOVE & RESPECT EACH & ALL of you just the way you are... but lets keep growing , and moving forwards. As we are never going back-words and if you think you are... REMEMBER~ ~ARE YOU REALLY? Or are you just growing in a different kinda way temporarily? ALWAYS ASK QUESTIONS NEVER SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN 100% self satisfactorily  being true, & understood complete to you. AS NO-ONE CAN TELL YOU~ Whats your own truth, or best way to live your life! OR WHATS THE BEST FOR YOU AS ONLY YOU KNOW THAT!  ~SILAS~

[Silas Bottman]

 I want to add~ THIS IS NOT APPLIED TO YOU GUYS~ But people in my community and whom I encounter on a daily basis here in MIZERY~ I mean Missouri~_~