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Unavoidable Selfishness
It appears that everything anyone does is never completely unselfish. Acts of giving make you feel good about yourself. When you love someone with all your heart and you would do anything for them, even if it hurts yourself, it is since you would feel worse off if you didn't do it.
When you give, and don't expect to receive in return, you are still receiving a feeling of goodwill from yourself. Nothing you do is ever completely about someone else, since you are always there. This is unavoidable.
When you give, and don't expect to receive in return, you are still receiving a feeling of goodwill from yourself. Nothing you do is ever completely about someone else, since you are always there. This is unavoidable.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by sunbeam on
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You give with no expectations of getting anything in return. The pleasure you receive in giving unselfishly is the reward and would best be received with no judgment at all.
We need not feel guilty in accepting the benefits of doing what is right and good.
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Permalink Reply by arash on
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what exactly do you mean by "selfish?"
the act of helping?
it seems like you're comment strikes at the heart of what we call morals, or moral philosophy. now, already, by simply using the word "morals" as a place holder for that which we are referring to, we are limiting that which we are trying to define. words are crude enough when expressing physical things, let alone feelings, let alone the unexpressable. when we say things like morals, ethics, law, etc.. we are simply trying to define attributes that lower one's resistance against the flow of life. this mechanism of flow is infinite and can only be fully received by experience and fully expressed by action. words may nudge- maybe. usually they lead to misunderstanding. words are terrible because they try to be specific, thus carrying such limited meaning. when trying to express the infinite they can only, at best relay infinitesimal amounts of meaning.
we can then only, effectively, define ourselves by our actions and experiences (what else do we really use words for anyway?)
so don't let the equipment get in the way of enjoying the game.
furthermore, what are the, honestly self-evident "rules" or rather, what is the framework, that governs this game?
i say love- helping when you can.
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Permalink Reply by Dana on
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There is resistance to receiving in ego. We think 'Oh, I don't deserve that.' or 'Hmm, I wonder what they want from me.' We put as many conditions on that as we do to give something to someone. It's in these conditions where the selfishness lies and often times others suffer for what others want. This is the condition we are leaving.
The moment that source brought the universe to consciousness we began our journey of duality. There will always be give and take and the joy from either is relevent to the conditions placed upon them. If you give unconditionally you will always receive back something of that because it is from the source of love. It is not selfish to receive love. That is what keeps the cycle going. The same is said for receiving. How can one refuse to receive if what is being given is unconditional. You receive joy in the gift because of the energy in which it was given and that is naturally going to be received back. We are meant to be in joy and love all the time. That is the way we were made. There is plenty for all and more. So ask for what you want. Set your Intentions that what you'll recieve is for the good of everyone involved. No judgement can come from that.
namaste
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Permalink Reply by ..... (RaInBoW wArRiOr) ...... on
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thank you guys .. but I think some people are missing the point.
The thing is that everything you do is ultimately about you.... There is no completely selfless act. It is hard to explain without examples.... But if you do something for someone it is because you feel right or good about it.... If you make yourself feel bad, it is since you wouldn't feel right feeling good ( and you feel more right about yourself feeling bad than you would feeling good .. :-/ ).
Your intent could be anything for the person, but you're doing it for how it makes you feel.... It's all about you. You can do things to make others feel a way, you still are going to feel some way about it.....
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Well, and i feel there is nothing we can do.... In our mind, selfishness refers to someone who is egocentric, unpolite, immature, wrong ( sorry if wrong synonyms are used )... And saying it's unavoidable makes one feel guilty, and without any relief ... What can we do to make ourselves feel comfortable about it ???
and how about those instances of either unconditional love or reacting with out thinking?
With unconditional love it is still selfish since you are a receiving a feeling of love, even maybe only from yourself, for expressing it... As for doing things without thinking; later after you did it you would feel some sort of self recognition for doing it. Almost like a habit, you do things so you will feel the results later... :-/
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well we just like to talk a lot lol... anyhow... Kerrie's answer is much more to the point lol
But I think you're right. I don't think anyone could ever commit a completely selfless act... and perhaps this may be an example. A mother stepping in front of a car and pushing her child out of the way. She does it for her own love of the child and wants to protect it.
Is that close?
Abhimanyu Kashyap said:thank you guys .. but I think some people are missing the point.
The thing is that everything you do is ultimately about you.... There is no completely selfless act. It is hard to explain without examples.... But if you do something for someone it is because you feel right or good about it.... If you make yourself feel bad, it is since you wouldn't feel right feeling good ( and you feel more right about yourself feeling bad than you would feeling good .. :-/ ).
Your intent could be anything for the person, but you're doing it for how it makes you feel.... It's all about you. You can do things to make others feel a way, you still are going to feel some way about it.....
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somehow i agree with all of you but i am still not able to fully understand the true meaning of selflessness ... because as i see it .. v expect at least something in return, either subconsiously or otherwise, whenever we do something in return ..... when v do something good for someone, we expect his/her love and or gratitude, support, help in return or whatever ... if someday v ask that person for some help and he refuses then v feel bad about it, some way or the other ..... i m still confused .. its true that i don't want anything in return for whatever i have done or do, but i somehow expect those who v have helped to love us, not necessarily show it ..
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hmmm ... okay .. thanks a lot kerrie .. :) and i guess now, this is what ascension is really about .. thank you, everyone .. much appreciated :)
peace, love and light ..
Kerrie said:Abhimanyu Kashyap said:somehow i agree with all of you but i am still not able to fully understand the true meaning of selflessness ... because as i see it .. v expect at least something in return, either subconsiously or otherwise, whenever we do something in return ..... when v do something good for someone, we expect his/her love and or gratitude, support, help in return or whatever ... if someday v ask that person for some help and he refuses then v feel bad about it, some way or the other ..... i m still confused .. its true that i don't want anything in return for whatever i have done or do, but i somehow expect those who v have helped to love us, not necessarily show it ..
You are observing your ego, it needs to be validated, now that you are aware of your egos needs, do not judge it nurture it when you can be this nurturing loving master your ego won't be so needy. next stage observe that which is the Master by being unjudgemental and loving, you will aligne yourself with the nature of this higherself.
LOL
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saint germain and his videos : total respect .. :)
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okay .. now something happened .. a normal incident .. but nevertheless got me thinking .... maybe it is not exactly related .. but here i m writing it here anyway .. i went out to pick my mom n my sis ... on the way i saw a man who asked me for a lift .. he seemed desperate to reach to the end of the road, where i was going ... but i did not stop .. ask me why ... maybe because it was a lonely road and a lot of incidents involving insane hitchhikers had taken place there .. maybe i thought how my parents would feel if he was a hitchhiker and something happened to me ... but maybe he was not, he seemed to be someone in need of help, and because of me maybe he couldn't reach somewhere .. because mine was the only car on the road and few vehicles ever go there at that time of the day.... but i guess i don't know the true reason behind my not helping him .. i was in no hurry, 5 or even 10 minutes here and there would have been fine .... i wanted to help him but i didn't/couldn't and now i feel sorry for it .... what i did can never be labelled as kind .. what would you have done .. ?
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hehe ... lol .. i guess ill have to get used to it then, cos i love it here .. :) and yes, what you said is exactly what i meant ..
Dana said:well we just like to talk a lot lol... anyhow... Kerrie's answer is much more to the point lol
But I think you're right. I don't think anyone could ever commit a completely selfless act... and perhaps this may be an example. A mother stepping in front of a car and pushing her child out of the way. She does it for her own love of the child and wants to protect it.
Is that close?
Abhimanyu Kashyap said:thank you guys .. but I think some people are missing the point.
The thing is that everything you do is ultimately about you.... There is no completely selfless act. It is hard to explain without examples.... But if you do something for someone it is because you feel right or good about it.... If you make yourself feel bad, it is since you wouldn't feel right feeling good ( and you feel more right about yourself feeling bad than you would feeling good .. :-/ ).
Your intent could be anything for the person, but you're doing it for how it makes you feel.... It's all about you. You can do things to make others feel a way, you still are going to feel some way about it.....
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