I'm here...

[Jessica Iler]

Why? Because I had to? I'm not sure. A friend showed me the sight at her home, she looks at a lot of the videos, most of which are on youtube or another site... So why join here? I don't know. but it was the first thing I did when I got home.

That seems to be a very dominate theme in my life currently. I'm 21 years old, lost as to what my purpose is other then I know I have one. May 3rd 1988 is my birthday. None of this is what I am wanting to say. I feel like I'm going crazy. I feel like I sound crazy.

Nothing in my life, no tasks define me, but that's all I manage to come up with, but they aren't right. They aren't me. I'm me, what ever I am.. whoever I am. I'm here because I need someone to explain to me, to tell me what is happening to me. Why I'm so sad sometimes that I feel as if my heart is breaking. Why this uncontrollable anger explodes from me and I cannot stop it. Why simple things amaze me and why suddenly, I will look as an object, a house, a street that I've seen a million times and suddenly be seeing it again with that sense of newness where you absorb all the possible information your eyes and brain can come up with and log it somewhere safe. Why don't I understand things other people have as second nature. I just want someone to tell me I'm not going crazy that I'm not alone and I'm not tricking myself into some false reality. Some fairytale. That this is all real and tangible...

[Alex Rodri]

welcome.. All I can say to you is that, about your age which was about 4 years ago I was like that. I don't know why but I started listening to my heart and do things a really wanted to do.This helped me find my self in a way, but I think most of us still ask the question why are we here and who am I. I have a feeling that we will learn that when it is time, for now we must live our own paths and in the way find people that will help you and cheer you up when you need to. No and you are not crazy except most people dont have the courage or are totally lost in the manipulation of today's society to say something. When all in doubt I listen to relaxing music and imagen the best times of my life or an image of our beautiful plane I guess this would be considered meditation but don know :P ... I hope this helps.

[Ravi Raju]

Hi Jessica,


Look for coincidences in where your attention is being drawn to..



The following transcript of Channeling (Session 33) of a 6th Density Social Memory Complex in the year 1981, who call themselves RA, could help you understand this a little better..


Questioner:
I was wondering if there is a programming of experiences that
causes an individual to get certain catalysts in his daily life. For instance, as
we go through our daily life there are many things which we can experience.
We can look at these experiences as occurring by pure chance or by a
conscious design of our own such as making appointments or going places.
I was wondering if there was a behind-the-scenes, as you might call it,
programming of catalyst to create the necessary experiences for more rapid
growth in the case of some entities. Does this happen?


RA:
I am Ra. We believe we grasp the heart of your query. Please request
further information if we are not correct.

The incarnating entity which has become conscious of the incarnative
process and thus programs its own experience may choose the amount of
catalyst or, to phrase this differently, the number of lessons which it will
undertake to experience and to learn from in one incarnation. This does not
mean that all is predestined, but rather that there are invisible guidelines
shaping events which will function according to this programming. Thus if
one opportunity is missed another will appear until the, shall we say,
student of the life experience grasps that a lesson is being offered and
undertakes to learn it.


Other than the above it looks like you have some crystallized emotional patterns from your past which normally show up as anger, depression,.. for no apparent reason at that point of time. One tool that can definitely help you out on this front are the Solfeggio Frequencies.. Check the following experiences of others to see if these frequencies could calm you down..

http://www.solfeggiotones.com/testimonials/
http://www.2012evolution.com/community-forum/viewtopic.php?f=26&...
http://saviorsofearth.ning.com/forum/topics/the-solfeggio-frequenci...
http://www.2012evolution.com/community-forum/viewtopic.php?f=26&...

You could download these frequencies at : http://www.solfeggiotones.com/

The frequencies should definitely help you in getting a perspective.. good luck!



Namaste,
L&L,
Ravi Raju

[simpleman]

Welcome Jessica. Dont worry. You will be ok. You are here to grow. Your consciousness is expanding and you notice more things. See the big picture. We are empathic also. We feel what others feel. Thats why it seems like those feelings of sadness and anger come in from nowhere, but its not coming from nowhere, its coming from someone around you or someone thats connected to you. Once you notice this and notice where the feelings are coming from, its easyer because they are not yours. We also broadcast our feeling onto other people, so be mindful of that.

Meditation helps clear you mind from all the clutter. There are many types of meditation. Find one that works for you.
Be patient. There are many here with much wisdom that can help you. Just ask.

Welcome home ;)

[CrystalClear2313]

Welcome to SOE Jessica!!! May your journey here help you find joy, peace, friendship and more...
namaste


PS: Everything is in Divine order

[Matt R.]

I think that if you look at the fact that you ask yourself and others these questions, that you obviously don't need to worry about "reality". Worry more about your actions each day. Even if everything were fake, aren't you happy that you decided to wonder about it? Isn't the thrill of life not always knowing the answer, but having the adventure of finding it out. The fact that you get disappointed is a beautiful thing if you can overcome it. Don't look down upon yourself, keep moving forward. Much love to you, you shall need it!

[11:11 Lightning 11:11]

In an insane world, the sane person is viewed as crazy!!! Welcome to the club. Much love and light to you in your journey.