The more I learn about ascention, light, everything, the more i realize that maybe Im not ready to ascend. I know deep down in my heart i want to experience something that amazing, becoming a whole being etc etc. ever since i was young and first questioned my existence and purpose and all the philosophical unanswerable questions followed, i knew i would never stop asking, never stop searching for the truth.
all of the information i have come across since 2 days prior to the 10 14 08 event up until now has made so much sense. the illumaniti and blue beam, etc etc etc it all makes sense, and some of it seems like it might be blown out of proportion, i dont know, its way too much to analyze. i just know that i want to experience ultimate existence as a being of light and love and this world continually pisses me off day after day. then i log online and find hope, here, with you people. i want to ascend, but the more i learn, the more i feel as if i need to experience more here in 3D. but then immediately feeling that i want to say NO! i deserve truth, i deserve to experience that because it is what drives me day in and day out, the idea that i might get to know, just for one second, the truth behind it all.
the more i learn the more it makes my life seem like its not important and im just waiting for shit to go down.