Negativity, "Sheeple" and fighting THE MAN

[DanBal]

Ok, so I've been noticing a lot of negativity within my life and around me in the people I know. I try to stay positive but it seems like the more I fight negativity the more it comes back with more force to test me again. And I must say, it's getting quite tiring. I find myself constantly warring with my friends and family over the most absurd topics because of their inability to see things my way. I know, it is not my job to convince people of the truth, if it even is the truth. That's another problem, I seem to be doubting some of my beliefs that have been so core to me over the last few years. I think this is happening in part because of the negativity that keep creeping back into my life. Also, I may be seeing things more clearly? Not quite sure.

It just seems like that for so long I've been talking about all this truth stuff and people just see it as a part of me to laugh at and ridicule and use against me whenever something happens. I don't know how many time I've seen stuff on the TV and someone points to me and says, oh Danny, is that the aliens? Like, is their ego really getting that much satisfaction out of making fun of mine? I just dont understand people sometimes, I really dont. In retrospect, I come to realize that this is not their true nature and it really is their ego but WHY DONT THEY UNDERSTAND THAT!? Ugh, it is very frustrating. Does anyone else feel like they are carrying a burden on their back?

Moving on...
A few days ago I received my first bill for my student loans (28k or so) and I was overcome with a sense of urgency to do something about it. First, I'm unemployed, second, I'm not in school anymore. So, THE MAN wants his money does he? Well I don't want to pay it. I dont feel like I got a 30,000$ education. I don't feel like education should cost anything! It's really starting to freak me out because on the news yesterday some guy got his door kicked in by SWAT looking for his wife who 'wouldn't pay her student loans back!' WTF is that crap? SWAT?! are you kidding me? Scare tactics... probably.

I find myself at a turning point in my life, done with college, yet not ready to persue a career in teaching (especially not in California). Stuck living my parents once again, I have no money and a busy summer ahead of me that makes it hard to try and start a meaningless job at this time (because I'd have to request so much time off) WHAT DO I DO!??!?!?!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!
I find myself telling myself not to worry, just to relax and everything will be fine, but the more I do that, the more it seems to burden me.

My theory is this... The more I awake and become aware, the more my ego has to try and fight to regain control. As I recognize ego in certain areas of my life, it loses its power, so it has to fight me in new and obscure ways that it hasnt had to use before. Thus, presenting itself in a more subtle way which in turn bugs me even more because it's not as detectable as before. Like, a few years ago I had plenty of struggle with ego - I just didn't know what was going on. I hadn't become aware of the true nature of myself or reality. Now that I have some basic understanding, the ego knows this is well, and is disguising itself in a new form, trying to control me like it did in the past. Does that make sense?

Are any of you guys experiencing this as well? Or have you been through a similar 'second struggle' like I'm going through right now?

[JIM4HOPE]

I do know what your going through Dan .I cant believe how many people out there I thought were just flat out ignorant to whats taking place all around them and the more you try to show them what is corrupt the more they look at you like some nut .And to try show evidence on a dvd that gives good reasons to be concerned about .They refuse to even give it a fair viewing they just see its about 911 and all the stuff on the cd is going to be some anti government propaganda , And this happened all around me even my good friends and family were closed to any alternative information they were totaly into what MainStream Media was feeding them It was like someone had programmed them to reject any other news sources .I never give up though and slowly but surly they came around to opening there eyes and were actualy seeing the real evidence .I did have a lot of sucsess with the flouride poisoning of our drinking water by having them read the back of a tube of tooth paste for me because I had forgotten my reading glasses and when they would read the fine print warning saying that if you swallowed any of the tooth paste you should immediately call poison control hot line or get medical attn .Usually they would re read that part agin and Then they would begin to think about it and I would say and just think one 8 oz glass of tap water that has flouridated by your local government is 8 times more toxic I never see the warning on the water bill .Dont give up Dan .  

[Vaddix]

Im in a similar boat. I dont know what to do to get out of it.

[Lisa]

Hi DanBal,

I would say instead of fighting it, try to embrace it, work through it and let go. That always helps for me when bad stuff happens. Also about people making fun off you, let them, don't let it have an effect on you because it serves no purpose to get yourself frustrated , cause you can't change them. Change yourself by not letting this kind of comments get to you. Stay centered.

 

When I browse trough internet and see articles saying that EGO is bad and you have to think through your heart. The thing is: EGO is not that bad at all, it makes you do things, if you didn't had EGO you wouldn't do anything, not even get you prepared for Ascension.

 

Here is a site that I find resonating in my heart. Maybe it will be for you too.

The Ascension Papers

 

And here is a piece out of the ascension papers about EGO:

Now I want to introduce a word to you. It is a word you know very well. But it is also a word you have so misunderstood that you actually need a formal introduction to it so that you can meet it anew and discover what that word really means. You must understand it correctly and use it correctly. Because it is a very useful word for a very useful concept.

The word is EGO.

Ego is the part of the self that “does”. It is the part that strives, that achieves, that gets up, gets out and gets going. In our little story ego is exemplified by Push. It is the part of the self that says “I am going to go and do this or that” and then does it. Ego says “I do”.

Now I ask you, does that sound like a bad thing?

Z: No. It certainly doesn’t. By that definition ego is required for… well… everything. I mean I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning without ego. I certainly wouldn’t be sitting here typing on this keyboard without ego.

8: You’re right. Without ego you would DO nothing. A mother would not hug her child. Lovers would not stare into each other’s eyes. You would not make nourishing food for your body. Nothing that you would consider a good and loving thing to do would ever be done. Nothing at all would ever be done.

I’ll take it further: Without ego your universe would never have come into being. The Light Beings that came together to create this universe did so by making decisions and choices and then enacting them. The very first, most basic decision of The One to seek to discover itself… the impetus to create… is ego. Push is ego.

Z: But so is war and destruction and killing and all that other stuff.

8: Yes, indeed, so it is! All activity is ego. Whether it is good activity or bad activity is just your judgement of it. Ego is simply a tool. It is the part of you that DOES. We have spoken a lot in The Ascension Papers about DOing and BEing. The part of your consciousness that is involved with DOing is your ego.

You cannot honestly think that there is something inherently wrong or bad about that, can you?

Z: No. I see what you are saying. It is neither good nor bad. It’s like a tool that you can use to build either a hospital or a bomb. Like a knife that can be used to cut food or to kill. It is just a tool. I get it.

But why then is there this idea, especially in spiritual circles, that the ego is bad? You often hear it said that the ego is the enemy – that it must be vanquished or overcome or even destroyed before one can grow spiritually. I’ve even heard it said by some people that I quite respect, that ego can be said to stand for “Edging God Out”.

Is this all so much nonsense?

8: It is a misunderstanding. And quite an understandable one at that.

Z: An understandable misunderstanding? (laughs)

8: (smiles) Language can be fun sometimes, can’t it?

But let me tell you why it is a misunderstanding and why it is understandable that it occurs.

Firstly there is, as I have said, nothing at all wrong with ego.

But if you identify yourself with your ego then you are, absolutely guaranteed, to be heading away from oneness. You are heading towards separation.

Z: Ah! And that’s a bad thing so…

8: Not so fast Sparky! I didn’t say that was a “bad” thing. If you WANT to be heading towards separation then it’s a good thing. But if you want to be heading towards Oneness then it is an inappropriate thing. If you want to go home then you must face home when you walk. Identifying with ego is facing away from home. Because you are, in fact, NOT what you DO. What you DO is just a transitory game you are playing with illusions. It is a part you are play-acting. With this doing you create your form. But your form is your expression. It is not what you ARE. If you made a sculpture you wouldn’t suddenly think you WERE that sculpture!

And, as surely as if you are a sculptor, you are creating your form with your doing. And here I mean “form” in the greater sense AND in the normal sense… your spiritual form and your physical form are created by your function. But this function is simply something that you are choosing to do for a while. This, you might say, is your purpose. It is, you might say, WHY you exist. And it is so for so long as you say it is so. But believe me, if you ceased to do this thing you would not cease to exist! So it is not really WHY you exist. At best it is a function to which you are well suited and which you enjoy fulfilling. And there is nothing at all wrong with that! But you need to understand that your purpose is chosen by you. And that in due course you will modify it and choose a new purpose. Please understand me: you are not defined by your purpose. Your purpose is defined by you. You are not what you do.

The rest you can read here: Chapter 11: What is Love?

 

I wish you lots of light, love and JOY!!!!

Lisa

[DanBal]

wow ted thank you so much, ive got some reading to do =)

[Ted]

When you stay in the heart and think with the heart, there is no ego.. When you think with the head, you can hear the ego.. When you turn on the TV or read newspaper, it will automatically get you in your head.. I realized that clever people are allways think with their head as is they can no longer do it with the heart.. Thinking with the heart is easy, for every thing you do or choice you face, will come an emotion, there is only 2 basic emotions, the 'I like' and the 'I dont like', this should be enough for taking decisions base on what you want and like.. Its not an easy one, we've been thought to think with the head.. when you do something people will ask why are you doing this? as if they expect a reason but the thing is there is only one reason..

Now about the loan I understand.. you said "I dont feel like I got a 30,000$ education", and I beleive you are right, but heres my advice, dont tell them your not paying, dont tell them you dont want to pay, because technically you must honnor your contracts.. If you beleive that you did not receive what the contrat was suppose to bring you in the first place, then fair enough, tell them, but not by phone, not in person, not with a letter but by serving them an affidavit.. "A claim can be satisfied only by rebuttal by counter-affidavit, resolution by jury or payment." So technically, paying is only one of the options. To make a long story short, you can notice them with an affidavit stating "I dont feel like I got a 30,000$ education", stating YOUR truth about that matter, stating that if they cannot prove you wrong, to pay you 30,000$, so you can pay the loan, and because you want to honnor the debt. Search on google for "commercial affidavit process".. it can help you..

peace