Codependency is a Focus on Others Ivo of Vega Through Sharon Stewart

[Manuel Tavares]

Codependency is a Focus on Others
Ivo of Vega
Through Sharon Stewart
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/2022/09/codependency-is-focus-on-others.html

Everyone is focused on others to some extent, however the codependent is focused on others because they require others to define them. Their self definition requires the abuse of others to exist; they require abuse to feel alive. They know how to deal with abuse. Codependents Anonymous, which is free to all who need it, says this about the codependent: “We attempted to use others – our mates, friends, and even our children, as our sole source of identity, value and well being, and as a way of trying to restore within us the emotional losses from our childhoods. Our histories may include other powerful addictions which at times we have used to cope with our co-dependence.”

You're a free standing individual, yes part of a collective, but you are free standing. If you need others to define you, to occupy your mind so that you can avoid observing your own thoughts, and to try to control them in order to make them parent you, then you're codependent. It's not others' jobs to parent you. It's your own. If you had insufficient parenting as a child, it's your job to re-parent yourself as an adult. Using a program or at least seeing a shrink are good ways to learn how to do this. You have to learn what healthy behaviour is...+
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/2022/09/codependency-is-focus-on-others.html