Control Dramas, we all know the scenario, we meet someone, ask how they are and Boy, do they tell us! End of the conversation, we stand drained and they walk off uplifted by the Energy they just sucked from us! Just one example of an infinite number of situations where we lose Energy to others.
James Redfield in his Celestine Prophecy series of books identifies four main personas that we adopt in order to gain Energy.
Aloof, Intimidator, Interrogator and Poor Me.
Poor Me concentrates on gaining Energy through sympathy for their perceived ills and will not give up and often resorts to the apportioning of Guilt on to the listener in order to gain the required Energy.
will bully you, silently threatening through body language, reminding you incessantly of your failings and their possible consequences and also of your dependance upon them for survival. Your subsequent compliance and reliance being the vehicle by which they gain their Energy.
is similar to the Intimidator, but this individual will use constant and vigorous questioning as their tool to extract their Energy as your attention will always be focussed on what you see as a compulsion to answer their every question.
persona is that which keeps individuals at arms length and conveys a hard to get or mysterious side to the onlooker. This causes you to constantly seek their attention and in doing so the Aloof effortlessly receives the desired Energy.
In all of the above the saying "Where attention goes, Energy flows" applies.
Why do Control Dramas happen?
We all act in particular ways according to our Needs and according to how we have learn to satisfy those Needs. We enter Control Dramas Unconsciously and without Intent in the majority of cases and most of us are horrified when our own Drama is pointed out to us for just that reason! We all seem to have the capability of recognizing just exactly which Persona to adopt to extract the maximum amount of Energy.
Recognition of Control Dramas allows us the opportunity to withdraw and alter our attitudes to Energy Exchanges and also reduce our stress levels considerably in so doing! When we are able to see that the Dramas are not "Personal" it is much easier to deal with them.
Releasing ourselves from Control Dramas involves a lot of of painful (no pain, no gain) and truthful self-analysis (no truth no pain). We must look at ourselves very closely and find how we gain Energy from others, look at the way we interact with others and how we feel afterwards. Do we adopt a Control Drama? What is our own personal Control Drama? How/where did we learn it? Think carefully about such things over a period of time, give yourself at least a week (preferably a month) to identify issues that you feel are important and the same again at least to decide how best to go about this important Life Change.
How do we deal with other's Control Dramas?
Countless books have been written addressing how to deal with "difficult people", ie, those in Control Dramas. Personally I think the Real Key is in our attitude to ourselves and consciously releasing our own Dramas and loving ourselves for who we are. Once we have done so we have no need to enter into Dramas. We find that we can give Energy freely and that others will respond in Kind freely and easily.
We must Love and Respect ourselves as much as others expect us to Love and Respect them and also Love and Respect others as much as we do ourselves. Be happy with ourselves and experience that Love and Respect and send it out to others unconditionally. Greet others with a smile and mean it, laugh with others and mean it, Love and Respect others and mean it, empathize with others and mean it.
In doing so we will also assist others to free themselves at least from the Control Drama that involves us.