The Unification Epicenter of True Lightworkers
My Experience Within The Cult Of Unconditional Love (Mother God)
*All names have been changed for privacy*
During the hardest point of my life I started to see that changes needed to be made in order for me to move forward. I have always been a very spiritual person and knew that something had to be done if I wanted to make changes within my life. After going through life changing events I thought I had found exactly what I had been wishing for...my dream come true.
I left Tn and my abusive ex husband behind with 2 suitcases, a bag and $200 not knowing what the San Luis Valley would hold for me. All I knew is that I would be staying with Tobias, whom I met off of Indigo Society and a couple that called themselves Mother and Father God. I had been told that the living quarters would be very simple and that everything was split equally within this small community. It was also explained to me that they followed the Universal Truth of Unconditional Love and were living within full consciousness.
When I first stepped off the plane and met Tobias, I felt uncomfortable since our only communication had been a few e-mails. I was also told that I had to e-mail Mother God personally and tell her why I wanted to move out there and explain where I was within my own spiritual development.
When I first arrived everyone greeted me with open arms. They gladly welcomed me into [I]The Kingdom of Heaven[/I] which as they explained is already here on earth. Through numerous conversations over the next month and a half I was provided with the [I]highest truths[/I] as they had experienced them.
As I have come to understand, the only qualifications to stay with them was that you show up and [I]participate[/I] in grounding in the energies. Though, in order to be present one had to first let go of all attachments and rid oneself of the ego. In order to face your attachments and beliefs they used a method that they called [I]ruthless compassion[/I]. They would point out all your ignorance and faults and throw them in your face. I experienced them doing this not only with the members there, but also on all the forums that we posted the messages to. We were all required to do this as well.
The messages that Mother God shared were beautifully written and spoke straight to the heart. The truths that everyone was equal and that everything is love would send chills through my body. I would find myself writing about my personal experiences as I went through my awakening process. Mother God would always have us read our messages so that certain words could be changed to match the highest truths.
After about a week I was placed in charge of making sure that the messages got posted on all of the various sites on the internet. I was dubbed the [I]Secretary[/I] of The Kingdom of Heaven. Tobias was known as the [I]President[/I] and Derek the youngest member was often referred to as either the[I]Joker[/I]or[I]the mental patient.[/I] After a few weeks my messages as well as Tobias's were being posted across all the forums. I would often times find myself taking fragments from conversations and expanding upon them with my own experiences in order to reach others.
Yet there is also a dark side to The Kingdom of Heaven that many don't ever get the chance to see. At first it did not bother me when pot was smoked or beer was drank. Though the longer I stayed the more frequent these events began to occur. I do not judge another person's actions, so I just went with the flow until other things started to unfold.
Now I began to notice odd behaviors such as calling Derek unworthy when he decided he no longer wanted to smoke or drink with them. They made his [I]ego[/I] feel guilty because of this decision. They felt that pot opened them up to higher levels of consciousness and would allow them to be able to speak the universal language of feeling easier.
After witnessing what they call ruthless compassion against his ignorance, it changed the way I viewed their messages. I will not go into all the details but they treated him like a child. They decided that because he was so [I]unconscious[/I] that he not was allowed to make any decisions on his own. They decided that the best method to cure his ignorance was to use discipline. I personally watched a drunken Father God grab Derek up by the front of his shirt and pull him face to face and yell "You are not in control here, I am".
This was the turning point for me, since they would say over and over again that you can never be in control of anything, that creation always happens in the present and it can not be controlled. This was the first contridiction that I experienced. There messages speak of Unconditional Love, but using there own words "there is no love for ignorance". Yet what I have experienced is that their concept of ignorance and ego is everything that does not agree with their beliefs. They were always promoting the concept that all beliefs had to be let go of...yet their beliefs are ok to hold on to......it makes no sense at all. This is the same concept that they would call Spiritual Ego. (When you jump out of your box but do not realize that you are still in a slightly larger box). That they are fully enlightened and have all the answers to help everyone else.
What I found fascinating is their wanting to keep all the members out of mainstream society as much as possible. No one was allowed to have a job because it was a distraction to being present. I was told that I only wanted to have a job because I wanted to try and [I]save[/I] people. Yet what I noticed is that their concept of [I]ruthless compassion[/I] is meant to try and save people. They force a person to look at their ego and ignorance so that they can go through them, but is that trying to force them into moving forward?
It took awhile before the time was right and I could leave. Derek had been wanting to leave for quite awhile but they kept telling him that if he left that his situation would be even worse. He was told that his Mother would suck him dry of energy, that all the unconscious people around him would project all their [I]stuff[/I] onto him. They even accused him of having a Messiah complex and really wanted to try and save all the people back where he was from. That he wanted to go back into society pretending that he was an enlightened master. Could this be projections of what they were doing themselves?
After a few weeks Derek packed up his belongings so that he could leave. We were headed into town and when they found out he was planning to leave they refused to even allow him into the car. They made the decision that if he wanted to leave that he would have to find his own way, that they would not help him do so. About an hour later I had access to a computer and e-mailed a friend to have someone go pick him up before we got back to the house. A few hours later I got myself out as well.
After this experience, I can say that I've learned quite a bit. They speak so much of truth, but they do not put what they preach into practice. They say that you can not save other people but they push others to awaken. I guess I will never understand all these contradictions.
All I can say is that this was a once in a lifetime experience. I have seen and experienced events that have completely changed who I am. I have no regrets about any decisions I have made within my life. Happiness and love are feelings that start from within, love yourself and you will never have to seek love and acceptance from outside of self.
Love, Truth and Light,
Desiree
During the hardest point of my life I started to see that changes needed to be made in order for me to move forward. I have always been a very spiritual person and knew that something had to be done if I wanted to make changes within my life. After going through life changing events I thought I had found exactly what I had been wishing for...my dream come true.
I left Tn and my abusive ex husband behind with 2 suitcases, a bag and $200 not knowing what the San Luis Valley would hold for me. All I knew is that I would be staying with Tobias, whom I met off of Indigo Society and a couple that called themselves Mother and Father God. I had been told that the living quarters would be very simple and that everything was split equally within this small community. It was also explained to me that they followed the Universal Truth of Unconditional Love and were living within full consciousness.
When I first stepped off the plane and met Tobias, I felt uncomfortable since our only communication had been a few e-mails. I was also told that I had to e-mail Mother God personally and tell her why I wanted to move out there and explain where I was within my own spiritual development.
When I first arrived everyone greeted me with open arms. They gladly welcomed me into [I]The Kingdom of Heaven[/I] which as they explained is already here on earth. Through numerous conversations over the next month and a half I was provided with the [I]highest truths[/I] as they had experienced them.
As I have come to understand, the only qualifications to stay with them was that you show up and [I]participate[/I] in grounding in the energies. Though, in order to be present one had to first let go of all attachments and rid oneself of the ego. In order to face your attachments and beliefs they used a method that they called [I]ruthless compassion[/I]. They would point out all your ignorance and faults and throw them in your face. I experienced them doing this not only with the members there, but also on all the forums that we posted the messages to. We were all required to do this as well.
The messages that Mother God shared were beautifully written and spoke straight to the heart. The truths that everyone was equal and that everything is love would send chills through my body. I would find myself writing about my personal experiences as I went through my awakening process. Mother God would always have us read our messages so that certain words could be changed to match the highest truths.
After about a week I was placed in charge of making sure that the messages got posted on all of the various sites on the internet. I was dubbed the [I]Secretary[/I] of The Kingdom of Heaven. Tobias was known as the [I]President[/I] and Derek the youngest member was often referred to as either the[I]Joker[/I]or[I]the mental patient.[/I] After a few weeks my messages as well as Tobias's were being posted across all the forums. I would often times find myself taking fragments from conversations and expanding upon them with my own experiences in order to reach others.
Yet there is also a dark side to The Kingdom of Heaven that many don't ever get the chance to see. At first it did not bother me when pot was smoked or beer was drank. Though the longer I stayed the more frequent these events began to occur. I do not judge another person's actions, so I just went with the flow until other things started to unfold.
Now I began to notice odd behaviors such as calling Derek unworthy when he decided he no longer wanted to smoke or drink with them. They made his [I]ego[/I] feel guilty because of this decision. They felt that pot opened them up to higher levels of consciousness and would allow them to be able to speak the universal language of feeling easier.
After witnessing what they call ruthless compassion against his ignorance, it changed the way I viewed their messages. I will not go into all the details but they treated him like a child. They decided that because he was so [I]unconscious[/I] that he not was allowed to make any decisions on his own. They decided that the best method to cure his ignorance was to use discipline. I personally watched a drunken Father God grab Derek up by the front of his shirt and pull him face to face and yell "You are not in control here, I am".
This was the turning point for me, since they would say over and over again that you can never be in control of anything, that creation always happens in the present and it can not be controlled. This was the first contridiction that I experienced. There messages speak of Unconditional Love, but using there own words "there is no love for ignorance". Yet what I have experienced is that their concept of ignorance and ego is everything that does not agree with their beliefs. They were always promoting the concept that all beliefs had to be let go of...yet their beliefs are ok to hold on to......it makes no sense at all. This is the same concept that they would call Spiritual Ego. (When you jump out of your box but do not realize that you are still in a slightly larger box). That they are fully enlightened and have all the answers to help everyone else.
What I found fascinating is their wanting to keep all the members out of mainstream society as much as possible. No one was allowed to have a job because it was a distraction to being present. I was told that I only wanted to have a job because I wanted to try and [I]save[/I] people. Yet what I noticed is that their concept of [I]ruthless compassion[/I] is meant to try and save people. They force a person to look at their ego and ignorance so that they can go through them, but is that trying to force them into moving forward?
It took awhile before the time was right and I could leave. Derek had been wanting to leave for quite awhile but they kept telling him that if he left that his situation would be even worse. He was told that his Mother would suck him dry of energy, that all the unconscious people around him would project all their [I]stuff[/I] onto him. They even accused him of having a Messiah complex and really wanted to try and save all the people back where he was from. That he wanted to go back into society pretending that he was an enlightened master. Could this be projections of what they were doing themselves?
After a few weeks Derek packed up his belongings so that he could leave. We were headed into town and when they found out he was planning to leave they refused to even allow him into the car. They made the decision that if he wanted to leave that he would have to find his own way, that they would not help him do so. About an hour later I had access to a computer and e-mailed a friend to have someone go pick him up before we got back to the house. A few hours later I got myself out as well.
After this experience, I can say that I've learned quite a bit. They speak so much of truth, but they do not put what they preach into practice. They say that you can not save other people but they push others to awaken. I guess I will never understand all these contradictions.
All I can say is that this was a once in a lifetime experience. I have seen and experienced events that have completely changed who I am. I have no regrets about any decisions I have made within my life. Happiness and love are feelings that start from within, love yourself and you will never have to seek love and acceptance from outside of self.
Love, Truth and Light,
Desiree
Views: 32
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Dana on
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I'm thrilled you were able to find your way out of that situation and clearly keep your perspective about what your path is. It's wonderful you were able to help Derek out as well and I hope that he is able to do the same. I have never experienced anything such as that, but I can see where the difficulty would be in moving away from that and keeping my heart in the right place. I applaude you your strength and wisdom to keep your eyes open to the truth of what was happening around you. May you always be blessed to see that which serves you. Love Dana
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Permalink Reply by Desiree on
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Well thank you my dear. I just felt the need to get this message out there....there are so many people that fall into these kinds of traps. People promising Unconditional Love and being able to awaken you into full consciousness....you have to do it yourself....you can not seek out others to try and help you accomplish it.
Love, Truth and Light,
Desiree
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I agree with you 100%... And I'd like amend my previous comment to say 'keep your heart open'. That is where we must live to stimulate our truth and rememberance of who we are. Joy to you :)
Desiree said:Well thank you my dear. I just felt the need to get this message out there....there are so many people that fall into these kinds of traps. People promising Unconditional Love and being able to awaken you into full consciousness....you have to do it yourself....you can not seek out others to try and help you accomplish it.
Love, Truth and Light,
Desiree
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I agree PS that it's not a situation I would wish upon anyone. But I think the fact that such an experience occurs and one is able to gain strength and learning from it can make it be one of the biggest miracles of their lives. Our experiences are what we grow from and if we were to only have 'good' experiences, then where would we get our strength from? When we allow ourselves to embrace these experiences as a part of who we're becoming, we can move with more fluidity and freedom within our lives. Love Dana...
ParadigmShift said:Wow. That is some crazy crazy stuff. I think I've even read articles by this so-called "mother god" right here on SoE. I don't mean to pry but I do have some questions, if you don't feel like answering that's ok.
What was a typical day like there?
How many people were involved in this cult?
How did they manage to house and feed you all and attend to your needs?
In what manner did they assert\remind their followers about the power structure between them?
Was there an end goal, such as enlightenment, transfiguration, world domination, etc?
Looking back, were there any things besides the incident with drunk Father God that made you second-guess them?
When you noticed something wrong, did you try to talk to the rest of the members about it?
Whether you decide to entertain the questions I just want to say, you're a very strong person for getting yourself and Derek out of that. It sucks you had to go through such an experience, but I'm glad you're OK. It almost sounds like something out of a movie.
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ParadigmShift said:Wow. That is some crazy crazy stuff. I think I've even read articles by this so-called "mother god" right here on SoE. I don't mean to pry but I do have some questions, if you don't feel like answering that's ok.
What was a typical day like there?
How many people were involved in this cult?
How did they manage to house and feed you all and attend to your needs?
In what manner did they assert\remind their followers about the power structure between them?
Was there an end goal, such as enlightenment, transfiguration, world domination, etc?
Looking back, were there any things besides the incident with drunk Father God that made you second-guess them?
When you noticed something wrong, did you try to talk to the rest of the members about it?
Whether you decide to entertain the questions I just want to say, you're a very strong person for getting yourself and Derek out of that. It sucks you had to go through such an experience, but I'm glad you're OK. It almost sounds like something out of a movie.
Yes Mother God posts all of her Channeling's here on SoE.
Let's see a typical day was waking up at sunrise, going over to their "house" which was right next door. We would have coffee and our Collidal Silver and listen to the morning radio show. We would discuss anything that needed addressed "Derek's" unconsciousness over night, plans for the day ect. We'd have breakfast around 10am. Of course we would usually smoke a bowl or so in the morning. Then depending upon the day the patterns would change. If it was a friday than we would get our things together to take a shower in town since there is no running water in the houses where we were staying. We'd go into town and take a shower. Mother God would decide which messages would be posted that day. I would then post the messages. But normally we would just sit around smoking and as they called it just being present and helping to ground in the energies. We would eat anywhere between 5-9 depending upon if they decided to drink that night. And we would be in bed anywhere between 8 and 11 depending upon the night.
There were only 5 of us there all together. Mother and Father God, Tobias Derek and myself. Food well I had foodstamps when I moved, and they Tobias and Derek had just gotten theirs through when i arrived, plus we would go to the local food banks as well. As for attending to our needs well Derek was receiving SSI and Father God was his payee. So all of that money would be handeled by Tobias and they would decide how it would be spent.
It was in their tone that they would speak down to you. If you were not "present" in their eyes than you were in ignorance and unconscious so that they would put you down and make you feel guilty and everything else in order to show you that they were fully conscious and that you had to listen to them and do what they said so you would be fully awakened as well. Of course they would always say they were Mother and father God and that they were the first set of twin flames to become fully aware.
They promised that if you got rid of all attachments and rid yourself of the ego that you would always be present within the moment and that you would reach full consciousness and we awakened and be in love, happiness and joy at all moments.
Looking back they always told you that if you second guessed them that you were holding onto a past belief and that you were judging them and that had to be let go of. It was just the way that they treated Derek and confronted him about his ignorance day in and day out. They would gang up on him and put him down, talk down to him and such. Luckily they never did this with me. They would say that he had taken too much LSD and that he was in a permanent acid trip so that there was no real hope for him, but that he was the perfect example of ignorance.
I was supposedly "twin flames" with Tobias but he was so under their thumb that I could never tell him anything about wanting to leave. He would have run and told them in a heartbeat and never given it another thought. I then would have received the 3rd degree as did Derek. The last night before we left I got up the courage to talk to Derek and told him to follow his heart. That if he wanted to go back home that he should do it no matter what they were telling him. Thus the next day he had the confidence to stand up and pack his bags to get out of there.
When he got out of there and joined us in town he burst into tears. He was so happy and relieved that he was finally free from the restrictions that they had him on.
I do not regret my decision to go there in the first place. I learned quite a bit there and grew spiritually. I do not feel like a victim at all. I made that decision and chose to have this experience and am grateful for it really. Does that answer your questions?
Love, Truth and Light,
Desiree
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