I've been wanting to type this for quite some time, and in some efforts i have but to the wrong places. I'm currently 20 years old living in California and gradually over the past 2 years i have assimilated into this common knowledge of "awakening" As i am embarking on this journey I am doing my best to live in accordance to a life of unconditional love and respect for our world. although i have many questions that trouble my mind along the way, that i would greatly appreciate be answered.
I have been trying to effectively meditate for the past 4-6 weeks i would like to say. I usually try to do this most at night when i am trying to fall asleep. However, i have never fully achieved a level of neutrality in the mind nor have i achieved hard visualizations as most videos online guide me to do so. I feel as though a lot of times i still have a lot of chatter inside my head and sometimes can't focus or sometimes when a sensation happens i think to myself "Is this it? is something happening to me right now?". I've been using a lot of the Iso-tones and Solfeggio tones to possibly help activate parts of my body that may be keeping me dorment for any way whatsoever however no real noticeable result has occured.
My questions are these:
1. Does it matter if you are in the meditative sitting positions (with cross legs and upright body) or laying down on a bed to properly acheive full meditation?
2. Does smoking marijuana impair you're ability to properly meditate? ( I'm in college :P)
3. Are their any pre-liminary guidelines or exercises i should do prior to trying to meditate?
4. I had a dream once where i was swimming underwater and grabbed a fish by the tail and then swamp up a little more and grabbed a differed fish by the tail in the same way.... my brother suggested that this might mean that i am still holding onto the Age of Pisces (Two fishes) or Age of Materiality?
Unfortunately, i felt like i had so many other questions to ask but they just are not coming to mind. I really badly want to be able to attune myself spirituality and be able to learn from all the wondrous techniques that are out there but i sometimes feel cut off or not sufficiently prepared or ready for this yet. I want to be able to meditate regularly so that it is not hard for me to do so anymore. I don't know how to put this i guess but what im trying to say is im really trying hard to do my part out there but i still feel like im missing a lot of pieces to the puzzle. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated
Love and Peace to All, from your friend, your brother, and your fellow human being