How is this all supposed to work out?

[Bryan]

This is something that has been on my mind for the past couple weeks now and i've come to the point where i just can't talk to anyone around me anymore-- im either put down, brushed aside, or dejected from a social collective point of view. Over the years as many of us have experienced, i have awakened-- awakened in the sense that my perception of the world and its subsequent events are not skewed or manipulated through the instruments of our media. I constantly search for my own reasons and scrutinies of situations so that i can formulate something that is true to me and not of anyone else's opinion. My main objective so to speak is to stay on the fence line of every issue- see things from both sides regardless if they disagree with my current ideals. Its healthy for ones state of mind, intuition, and reasoning.

Today, i'm feeling very hurt because i was having a conversation with my friend and we were talking about the incidents in the Taj Mahal Hotel and the "terrorists attacks". I thoroughly explained that i was impartial towards the situations, i do not jump to any conclusions that are fed to me because for one i haven't seen any visual documentation of these alleged terrorists in the hotels or any detainment photographs or anything. Regardless, he pressed on asking what i was trying to get at, and i followed up by saying "what really is a terrorists? is it something that we have constructed for ourselves to hate and fear as we have so commonly done so in the past as a nation state. The idea of a nation state is to have a common enemy and if you look into the past there has never been a time when this has not occurred"........

Well needless to say this may have rocked the ship so to speak about his beleifs or ideals and he quickly cut me off saying "yeah ok whatever i gotta focus on this right now (he was doing flash cards for studying for a test)". Meanwhile afterwards he put on the tv and watched it in a dead stare while i had to listen about what he had to say about the show, the characters, or whatever the heck.

I just really felt hurt by the whole situation to be discarded and dejected like some kind of radical... I'm not here to kick up dust on any fundamentalisms of society or "bring down the machine". I'm simply exercising my human free will in having a intuitive perception of the events around the world from a totally non-bias impartial point of view. It's very hard to accurately put this into words but it makes me very frustrated inside to be treated in such a way and i would never treat anyone in such a way either.

I have come to the point now where there is a crossroads in this journey of mine. I have discovered a sense of happiness with the information i have discovered, the daily stresses and troubles just don't seem to bother me anymore and i live in a way where i feel better about myself. However, the consequences that come with it rival the reward and i have come to a point now where I look at myself--- 20 years old, in a socially cannibalistic college atmosphere where any venture beyond the norm is laughed at and joked upon. It is really hard for me to keep my head up during these times, because i feel that i just dont think on the same level with my friends anymore.... maybe ive grown up to fast or that im just too young to understand still but this whole game is taking its toll on me and i dont know how much longer i can keep up with the pressure. I can feel that my friends are developing the notions of me as having a radical thought train, and it disrupts some of our conversations and experiences because of it. Maybe im trying to show everyone too much because i want everyone to see what i have seen, but whatever it is the repayment for my dues come in the form of scrutiny and humility. I just think im maybe a little too young to be outwardly expressing these ideas because the people around me are not ready for it and will be quick to discard me to the trash without thinking twice. I'm sorry for anyone who has to bear reading this, i don't mean to throw a pity party in any shape or form whatsoever, i've just been putting this off for a long time and i felt something should be said, and maybe this would be the right crowd.

I feel like im alienating myself more and more by doing this and its not a very pleasant experience..... i still havent found my true self or inner being, and i question if i ever will since the ego takes grasp of me during times like this and again throughout pressures that bring me back down. I didn;t think it would be this hard

[RL]

its okay, my friends think im schizophrenic and they ignore whatever i say. but i say better to plant a seed, who knows what might sprout out.

think of it like a snooze button. some people just want to continue sleeping, so they will keep pressing the snooze button.

let them sleep all they want in their comfort. till its time to ...

******RRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!******

[H.R. Pufnstuf]

I can see both viewpoints from PrincessHeart and Simone. Although I will say to Brian that perhaps instead of trying to abstract the thoughts out so much when you are trying to have a normal conversation, try keeping it a bit more down to Earth. Perhaps one would discuss the notion that one man's freedom fighter is another man's terrorist. Discuss something he can easily understand and relate to such as the notion that the US revolutionary fighters used terrorist methods to accomplish their deeds. Trying to abstract it to the level you went seems a bit too much for me even.

PrincessHeart does have a good point. Although I do not know you enough, Brian, several members here SWoL for one example lol displays a type of arrogance that pushes most people away. We need stop differentiating those that seek ascendance or whatever belief system. Also realize that a discussion is just that. Do not try to sway the opinions of others when they are not privy to your own beliefs. Perhaps first, share with them your belief system so they can have a better understanding of your mindset then perhaps you may have a better discussion.

[Tina W]

Bryan.. I feel your pain.. and I think we all do.. But you have to remember that we are all here to learn.. and we all learn in our own time.. just remember that they are not awake yet and if you give to much info at one time they will wright off the information you are giving them.. You need to give them seeds.. plant the seed so it will grow.. They need to find this on their own.. but if you plant the seeds you give them SOMETHING TO GROW.... give them little bits at a time to make them think...

Bright Blessings..

[sunbeam]

You know, Bryan I'm well past my 20's and I don't think I could have been awakened when I was your age. Traditionally, the 20's are a time to be self-centered and selfish; to be crazy and sometimes to act before thinking. You are wise beyond your years. Your friends and classmates may be reluctant to listen because then they would have to "think" about the subjects you are presenting.

Maybe if you just give bits and pieces of your newfound knowledge IF the opportunity presents itself that may work better. It's hard when you are filled with all this wonderful information that you want to shout to the world but unless people are in the frame of mind to receive, you can feel as if you're getting no where.

I've tried using the approach (when I think I'm in the right situation) and I'll just say something like, "Don't you wonder how the pyramids were REALLY constructed?" Most people have at least a slight interest in this subject. You'd be surprised how you can move quickly to ET's, then the government and their denial, then to conspiracies and what's going to happen in the next few years. Before you know it, you've shared a lot of valuable information and provided some resources, as well.

Even if people don't agree, and unfortunately I don't meet a lot who do even within my family, it places a seed of doubt about the status quo or ian nterest in exploring the possibilities further. Many times down the road, the person will come back and ask how they can learn more . . . and so it begins.

Be yourself and do what feels right for you. Don't burden yourself with feeling entirely responsible for everyone else. You are on your personal journey and YOU have awoken - you will never be the same.

Exciting things are waiting for all of us on this planet. We're so happy you are a part of this conscious shift.

Much Love.