Outwards, I seem so selfasure, and so down to earth. Always smiling and caring....
But right now I feel like everything in and arround me is upside down! It started with a bad sleep and ended with a long cry.
Today , for instance, I could only think of all the things we (including me) do that really are bad for us, for the nature and for Mother Earth, and still we do them.
Like, take me, I´diving arround in a taxi all day long. Bad for nature, I sit all day and don´t get much exersice, don´t even get to eat on a regular basis. Not so good, huh?
And when I come to think about it, I recognize that - because the car (and driving a car) is kind of a negative energi - I always get that negative feeling inside when I sit down in the car. And with that feeling it´s easier for me to get irritated while in traffic. So now I know where that comes from!
All this thinking got me to wonder if it is such a good idea at all to even still work as a taxidriver! I felt that I don´t want to participate in hurting Mother Earth anymore.
I have the healingpractice on the side but still with far less klients than I would need for my family to survive. That is if I don´t come up with a brilliant idea that could get my firm jumping ahead.
So I´m struggeling with this question, should I close one door, for another door to open? But will it open?
Then we have the foodthing, I quit eating meat 4 years ago, then 8 months ago I quit eating bread, potatoes, rise, pasta and a lot more of the highcarb foods. Just a few weaks ago I felt like only eating fruits?! Ok, I eat candy and I love chokolate.
And offcourse, I end up being the one they talk about at work.. "She is so different...". When I´m the one thinking - when are they going to see what they really eat?
I don´t watch tv, (well, sometimes I must besause my husband wants to share something with me) and I tune the radio down whenever the news is on. And this started maybe 6 months ago.
I listen to the Sollfeggio Frequencies every night (somehow there is always a time for this)
When I got the letter from a friend about the Federation of Light and the october 14th-event everytheng speeded up. I´m so greatful for this website with the possibility to read, listen, share with and speak to so many alike!
Only, it has gotten to where I have the computor practically on my lap all evening! I now I´m surposed to go outside in nature......
I know I´ve allready made some huge changes in my life, but I don´t feel I´m there yet.
I have, like I´m sure most of you have also, seen the movie "The Secret". And they make it sound so easy. But I don´t find it easy at all.
I want to quit my job, and lay my energy on my healingpractice, I would in fact like to help people for free, really. Now, how do I do THAT?
I saught help from a medium about a month ago, and one of the things he told me was "You need to know that you are not alone, there are people out there that shares your experience of life, that shares your wiew and your knowledge. You can exchange experiences with eachother and evole together". And I realised that those people he was talking about are you all!
I know that all I´m writing is confusing. But this is how I feel right now, confusing! I know we only have a short time left here on this Earth in these bodies, and I don´t know how to aply, behave, act, react, be!
I want to know my higher self, and I know that by knowing my higher self, I won´t have a problem.
But the thing is, I don´t know ho to get there. It feels to me as I have a major blocking between me and myself (so to speak). And I find myself wondering why my higher self put that blockage there!
Was it because I wanted the challange, or was it maybe because my higher self has such an important role in the higher realms that I´m better of not knowing?
Well, this took some time writing even if it may not make a sence at all.
Much Love and Light to you all!