Your mood swings, particularly the dips or troughs, are to be expected as you prepare yourself for your move into full consciousness, and consequently become increasingly aware of the completely unsatisfactory illusory reality that you are experiencing now. Continue to remind yourself that it is an illusion. Accept it as it is, without judgment of any kind, and know that you are divinely loved in every moment. You are awakening, you cannot avoid it, and when you do, very soon, your joy will be exhilarating.
The path to reawakening is extremely well marked, and more and more of God’s beloved children are discovering it all the time. However, it is a little as though you were driving in fog on a dark night, so although the way is clearly marked, it is hard to see, and all your attention is required to ensure that you do not lose your way. Daily prayer and meditation instill in you the determination, the will, and the ability to stay focused and remain on the path.
If you do seem to be losing your way, reaffirm your intention each time you pray and meditate, and ask for help in releasing the judgment and fear which distract from your divine purpose. When you ask, with intent, you will be helped and guided to enable you to return to your path. You truly are always very close to it; the only reason you cannot always see this is because you are allowing yourself to be distracted by the noisy and confusing illusory non-reality you have made for yourself.
You are dearly loved and it is God’s Will that you reawaken into His and your divine Reality, All That Exists. You cannot fail to do so; it is only a matter of time. The only purpose of time is to allow you to awaken, and when you do, linear time will be gone, instantly, as you find yourself in the joyous eternal now of God’s Presence where you are one with Him in every moment. There is no other time or place, only here and now with Him.
So, use your meditation to focus mindfully on this now moment, and when you are not sitting meditating, focus your attention mindfully on whatever you are doing. This will make it increasingly easy to accept what is occurring in each moment, with total trust in its rightness, knowing that you chose it to be as it is. The way you experience anything is the way you choose to experience it. This is always how it is.
In the illusory reality in which you appear to be living, what is occurring is doing just that, occurring, like a river flowing. All you can do is accept it, because that it is what it is, something occurring. But you choose in every moment how you are going to experience it – good, bad, OK, happy, sad, painful. These are all judgments that you make, and they confirm for you the apparent reality of the illusion. If the event or occurrence is ‘happy’ you want it to last; if it is ‘painful’ you want it to end, and while you are judging every moment you can never be at peace or feel content.
The saints and mystics realized this and learned to accept what is, finding peace in each moment, and from there, even while still embodied, experienced moments of extreme ecstasy. And they were all, just like you, capable of judgment and of choices influenced by those judgments. But they learned to let go and allow the moment to be what it was. In this they found divine peace, which shone forth from them and was apparent to others, who realized that they were beloved teachers of God sent to guide them.
And each one of you is perfectly capable of learning and realizing this truth: that you are one with each other and with God, always. Just accept the moment as it is, without judgment, and enjoy and live audaciously in the now, knowing and experiencing God’s infinite love for you. By so doing you are a beacon, a brilliant guiding light on the way, demonstrating to others what they too can be, because they too are infinitely loved. All are infinitely loved because all are perfect creations of God, and all will awaken into that wondrous Reality quite soon.
With so very much love, Saul.