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This Hesitancy to Trust By Steve Beckow

This Hesitancy to Trust
By Steve Beckow

While looking for something else, I came across this sentence from Michael:

“This hesitancy to trust … is also, of course, as you well know, a hesitancy to trust oneself, to trust that in fact what you feel about yourself is trustworthy.” (1)

When I read it I nearly swooned. At that moment I felt that hesitancy to trust myself and trembled.

It wasn’t something special. It wasn’t anything particularly personal.

It was simply a case of a general “hesitancy to trust” anything. It was feeling the “hesitancy to trust” that had me nearly swoon. My gosh, he’s right.

I know where it comes from. I felt myself so deeply disappointed by the number of times a trip we had planned was cancelled by Mom and Dad’s quarreling that I swore never to trust anyone again. That thought exactly fits the way I feel and so I feel release (the truth will set you free).

I keep returning to this passage from Guillaume Pretty about Hitler:

“I’d say that Hitler was a man trying to gamble and that, at the start, the fact that he neglects the whole dimension of strategic tactics, the type of ground logistical problems, all of these oversights don’t catch up with Hitler the war lord.

“And then, one day, all of these conditions for war, which should allow a war leader to grow, catch up with him, and from then on, all his bets systematically fail.” (2)...+

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