In a ceremony today in Crawford, Texas, a pug dog was actually elected to the position of Sheriff to protest the illegal activities conducted by law enforcement there. The pug in a speech, aided by his interpreter, the animal linguist Dr. Wildley Curlytail, announced he was going to "clean house." Impressed by the pug's resolve, the Obama administration has taken note, and is in talks to recruit the animal to help fix the mortgage crisis. The pug had no comment regarding interest rates or the rumors circulating that a run for the White House may be in his future.