The Unification Epicenter of True Lightworkers
My whole perception about money is having to do something to receive money, like a physical thing, in all my life i have never seen money come to me, it has always been that i had to work hard for it, I do like to give to charity even though i'm still unemployed and have no way of making anything, I'm at the point that i just want to give up in this monetary system and just let all this old stuff go. Apparently it's not happening and i still have to play this rat race game.
I know for a fact that i have to have some sort of tool to bring in some sort of currency but there isn't anything i can do. I'm losing my memory on a daily basis, soon i will probably start forgetting my name. My memory is getting worse, i've forgotten all my skills except for some computer skills which i still can do. I try to fill my mind with information but just forget it the next day.
This alone has really torn my life apart and has lead down to trying to sell things just to pay off some bills. Luckily i'm still above water, and i do have place to sleep and food to eat, and i have my phone and internet.
So i can say i'm much better off than some people are, but i'm just so tired of this monetary system i want everyone to have everything they need and have all the access to the tools and resources so they can build they're future.
I'm definitely not smart only because of my memory is a huge problem. I've always done hard labor jobs and i have just a few months before my unemployment runs out. Those hard labor jobs are dropping all over the place, and finding a new one does not look to be possible for me, no matter how many applications i do fill out.
I hardly ever get a chance to go any where, and i just see reality just so limited in my life, and i just have no idea what is true freedom because i've never expeirenced true freedom before.
I just can't wait to we all get to gain our abilities back, especially the teleportation or flying one back. If they are real abilities.
I really wish i had just a little bit of faith, because everything in my life has been like a brick wall room with no windows, or doors. Like i've tried to have faith for something good to happen in my life but in turn i had a bad thing happen, and i continue to have bad things happen, but they aren't real bad things, compared to others, they are just small things that happen. Ever since then i just don't have any faith.
Like i was in Iraq and Kuwait for 9 months, but i believed i was leaving in 2 months and i totally believed i was going to go home. Well 7 more months i finally got to go home. So i lost my faith after that to. I suppose i see things in black and white and don't see the shaded grey or the other colors.
My consciousness has just been in a blank state for a long time, and i still can't figure out what i'm doing wrong. I'm not really afraid of Death, i just don't want to keep playing this really dumb game that we all choosed to play anymore.
In my city things are just the same over and over, just the same thing day in and day out, the same loud heavy metal and rap music i hear, the same drinking and party animals around my neighberhood the same cop cars that go by on a constant basis, the same banking system that we have to deal with, the same things over and over, and nothing changes.
When the time is right i'm planning on leaving this city and state and find another place as long as it isn't the same as it is here in this city.
Sorry i've ranted a little long, i'm just expressing my feelings. I suppose i'm just not much of a faithful person, and will probably never be. I just will have to except whatever comes my way.